When I was four
They took off Bozo
For the funeral of JFK.
I remember a small boy
Saying goodbye to his father,
A salute, by his mother’s side.
When I was six,
I was left with my mother’s friend
As my parents attended the funeral
Of a small boy killed by a handgun.
Francis took me to the beach
And from a distance, I saw myself
Playing alone in the sparkling water.
Robert and Martin
Left me a few years later.
My mother crying softly
While watching the news.
The good die young
But so the bad,
Death doesn’t care
He welcomes all.
My best friend Solomon
No reason was given
That a child could understand.
But watching Batman was no longer fun,
And Major Matt Mason
Was forgotten on the bookshelf.
In high school, my best friend
Was killed by a hit and run
On a lonely country road,
All by himself,
Lying on the cold asphalt,
Staring up at a beautiful night’s sky.
I rode to the funeral with his girlfriend,
My secret crush.
She rested her troubled head on my shoulder
But we never really talked again.
Two losses from one death.
I reminded her of him too much
To be around.
Death is always here,
Waiting to appear at some inconvenient time.
Faith is only a way to make life bearable,
A lie we force ourselves to believe
So we can get out of bed.
As I grew up
People left me in other ways.
Broken relationships and broken hearts
Scattered along life’s bumpy road.
Holding on to another
In a desperate effort to feel safe
To feel love
To feel forever.
The results are the same
Sitting alone hoping my broken heart will mend,
So that one day, I’ll find my happily ever after
One day my princess will come.
Then suddenly I just stopped,
Believing in forever.
No sudden deaths,
No abrupt departures,
Only the truth of life
That we are mortal
And there is only now.
So find someone to love
And accept that nothing is forever.
But moments can be filled with love, and hope, and joy,
As well as separation’s sorrow.