I was a better person with you.
A better person than I am now.
In solitude, I dwell in dark places
I’ve constructed with shattered pieces
Of withered memories twisted by distrust
And ancient photos hidden away in boxes never opened.
I used to be happier
And less suspicious
And less angry.
Now I am sadder, and more suspicious, and angrier.
And the world reflects my feelings back at me,
Magnifying and multiplying
Two mirrors reflecting each other
In an amusement park fun house
As hollow laughter accompanies carnival music,
In a never ending loop.
I see conspiracies in passing conversations.
I see anger in the youth,
I see surrender in the old,
I see frustration in my peers,
But I do not see that,
They are reflections,
All reflections of myself.
And I will never be happy,
Never, ever be happy,
Until I once again see
That joy exists,
Still exists,
When pain and sorrow
Are released
From the prison
I’ve confined them in,
Deep in my bitter heart.
