Exploding Heart 031519

I know that the human heart

houses no emotions

but why does it feel

like my chest is exploding

in slow motion

when you are near?

 

There is a coldness,

a separation,

as loneliness and distance

envelope and overcome me.

 

I am weak

powerless to move,

to turn away

until you look at me

and then I am flung to the depths

of my own despair

because there is nothing in your eyes.

 

There is no love or hate,

apathy or annoyance.

As if I don’t exist in your life

and I don’t exist in my own

conception of happiness.

 

So I stand alone,

chest exploded

dripping life

having not the energy to stand.

Body immobile

air like prison

hardly breathing

having not the energy to breathe.

 

As I fade,

fading slowly

fade away into the dark,

dark places of my soul.