Love is like Christmas 11/16/16

Love is like Christmas

The smell of freshly

Baked ginger cookies

From grandma’s kitchen

The brightly lit homes

Filled with welcomes welcome

The beautifully decorated tree

Holding gently

Memories of a lifetime,

Ornaments passed from

Generation to generation,

From friend to friend.

 

I walk down the quiet street,

Listening to the holiday parties

The laughter,

The stories

Of good times past

And memories of good friends passed.

Their lives continue

In the retelling of traditions

And of recipes recreated.

 

I walk down the happy street

Where tomorrow morning

Children will rise,

Jumping on their parent’s bed

Gleefully yelling,

Santa was here, Santa was here!

The living room will soon be filled with

Mountains of discarded wrapping paper and

The laughter of children

As they investigate the warranties of their gifts.

 

I stop outside my home.

The darkened rooms.

There is no smell of cookies.

No tree with brightly

Wrapped presents beneath.

 

Love is like Christmas for me.

Never had it, never will.

And the expectation every year,

Of what Santa will bring,

Of what love will bring,

Makes my home a prison,

Sentenced to my gloomy rooms,

Waiting for release.

I walk away from my prison cell

To a darker corner of my town.

 

Mrs. Wilson’s husband passed.

It is the first Christmas without him.

Their only son died in Vietnam

So very long ago.

She sits alone with a scrapbook,

And smiles with tears in her eyes.

 

Mr. Paneer’s wife left him,

Along with the kids.

She always trimmed the tree.

He didn’t buy one this year.

He wouldn’t, he couldn’t.

He drinks another round while

Looking into the empty corner.

 

Mr. Murry died last fall.

His house is dark.

A For Sale sign sits out front.

And that is all that is left of Mr. Murry.

 

I stopped.

A light snow falling down,

Seemed to glisten in the streetlight’s glow.

Dancing, dancing,

Slowly falling.

I held my hand out.

A snowflake landed in my palm

A moment before melting.

Love is like Christmas,

Like Christmas indeed.

 

From Sleeping With Macbeth By A.F. Winter


the old man

He sat by the side of the road.

“Come in old man where it is safe!”

“I’ll stay right here,” he said.

“No matter which side wins,

I will soon be forgotten.”

 

Remember when the old lived long enough to become a burden?

Lived long enough to outlive their usefulness to society?

 


Words part 2

I used to know what love is.

But now I count my steps

And watch my calories.

God only gives us,

what we can handle.

 


Jack-o’-lanterns

Two plastic jack-o’-lanterns

From the Halloween two months ago

Face each other on the coffee table.

 

I did not put them out then,

To invite the little princesses and goblins to visit.

They sat inside where they sit now.

 

I have not touched them since I bought them.

Why haven’t I put them away?

I pass them many times a day.

 

I look at them.

And berate myself.

“It is no longer Halloween.

It is almost Christmas,

Why won’t you put them up?

They don’t belong here!”

 

My shoes have grown roots.

I can no longer pass.

I stare, transfixed at the sagging shapes

In muted orange.

 

They watch each other as I watch them,

Unable to move.

Unable to welcome others or

Give curious happiness

For a moment or two.

 


sometimes

I know you’ve heard this a hundred times,

and you don’t need to hear again,

but sometimes it just helps to know,

there’s someone who will listen.

 

I know that life is complicated

too many square pegs forced into round holes,

chipped and broken in an attempt to make things fit,

in an attempt to make things easy,

but sometimes complicated can be tolerated,

because life is rarely simple.

and sometimes it just helps to know

there’s someone who will listen.

 


men are stupid

men are stupid

yes we are

and I am the stupidest

one by far

we only want one thing

and when we don’t get it,

we become bitter angry children cursing the world and its loveliness.

 

never realizing

without being loving

we can never be loved.

without being kind

kindness evades us

without being open

all doors remain closed.

 

 

 So true! So true!!

I agree with you.

Very true.

 


If I 092819

If I spent my whole life with you,

And you died before me,

I would become

Angry, bitter, hateful,

Cursing the heavens

And the earth as well.

Forgetting all joyous memories

In the torturous present

Until my poor heart broke

And I was tortured in my solitude

No more.

 

We only spent a few years together

And I still mourn

For what might have been.

 

Sometimes life is kind

in its cruelty.

 


my lies 082619

I sit up high

in my broom broom moving boom

hands upon the turny bop bop beeper

but all I see is what I see

and all my thoughts are reruns

from the ones who passed before.

 

I walk my woofer happily

saying eww eww icky poo.

but my heart doesn’t feel

and my mind cannot comprehend

a thing as simple as its own end.

so I make up ties and cries and sighs

but all the things I know, are lies.

 

There is an end

to comprehend

with only never afters.

no darkness or light

to try to fight

no struggles nor pains nor laughters.

 


I Sleep in Green Grinch Boxers 081019

I sleep in green Grinch boxers,

Ten years old.

They are more of a suggestion

Than an actual covering.

I don’t know why I still keep them,

Oh yes, I do!

 

I lay in bed

Jiggling my belly

Trying to make it

Make those weird

Gurgling noises.

Then I gurgle back

As if we are talking about

The weather.

 

I fart.

I belch.

I scratch with reckless abandon.

 

Within the last month,

A friend lost her father.

A friend lost his wife.

A friend lost her daughter.

A friend lost her life.

 

Life gives us the opportunity

To laugh at ourselves.

And celebrate our stupidity.

We are way too serious

After we are gone.

 


Remember 081019

When you miss a person

Remember a time

She made you laugh.

Not the times

She made you cry.

 

That will make it easier

To forgive her

For the times she made you cry.

 

Then you will desire

To heal the wounds

Left neglected for so long.

 

And if the time has passed

For healing wounds,

You will remember her warmly

Because you did share

Love

And peace

And happiness.